I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Vodka?
Forever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
