you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
