Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
