I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
