She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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