Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
