i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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