And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
