I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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