if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
