Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had sex on a roof
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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