There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
