how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize