he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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