Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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