every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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