Dude my mom stole all your condoms
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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