**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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