that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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