yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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