hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
