im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
