then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
