can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
