My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
