some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This baby is an asshole
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize