ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
