He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
