I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize