I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Me too!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
