Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
