If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
