I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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