That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
