She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
