Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
