Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
