he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would fuck him just for his dog
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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