I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
