Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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