the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i love accidental penises.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
