ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
