i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
