In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
