dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it glows. i had to have it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
