I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
