Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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