i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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