i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
