You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
