there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
