Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's no shave November. This is our time.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
