I faked an abortion last night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
