I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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