new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize