Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
