I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
