Having a random hookup so left but love u
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
