so explain again why im purple
no
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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