I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
