When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
