New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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