just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
