Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize