Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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