I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize