Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
