im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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