worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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