peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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