Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
