there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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