What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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