its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
