i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
