i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
