i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
