Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize