I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
